At this time, the space in which I find myself is largely inexplicable. But you know me, I’ll give it a shot! I am on a journey into the space between the unknown, the known and back again. After months of waiting and wondering what it would be like to meet our kids, it finally happened! We have met our children, we have met their birth family, and we have become their adoptive family. We have hugged them, kissed them, laughed with them and cried with them – all of them. Hearts connected, bodies now parted. First trip to meet them, waiting on the second trip to finally bring them home. We aren’t sure of an exact timeline, but our calculated guess would be sometime in October or November. Just in time for Christmas and snow! Talk about culture shock. 🙂
We have been back from Ethiopia for just under one month and I still can’t find the exact words to express my feelings about our journey. I have had many conversations with friends and family… recounting the play-by-play of our amazing experience. Each conversation helps me process anew all that lay in store for us. The layers peel back one conversation at a time.
The range of emotions we experienced was immense. You name it, we probably felt it! In a nutshell, the trip was amazing, exciting, overwhelming, exhausting, invigorating, uncomfortable, tender, sweet, unchartered territory.
If pictures indeed represent a thousand words, I will spare you the pain of my lengthy blubbering and share a few snapshots:
Leaving them that day was bittersweet. On one hand I could not imagine walking onto a plane with these two children I had met just days before and with whom I cannot communicate. On the other hand, they are my children and I love them. It will take time to fall IN love with them and they with me, but I trust in this process.
Their birth mother bequeathed her motherhood to me in a virtual coronation of sorts. I am now their advocate in this world. I am their protector, their cheerleader, their role model, their guide. I am their mother. How could I leave them?
I find great solace in Jesus’ words to His disciples as he promises the Holy Spirit in his absence, “I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever — the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you as will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you” (John 14: 15-18).
I pray this divine thread to intercede for them and for us. Geography distances us, but the Holy Spirit unites us. May He continue to breathe peace and love into their young souls — in the space between.